Again I have the privilege to write to you all and today my thoughts are filled with all the awesome things I have been through these last five years. It is soon exactly five years since I opened my mouth for the first time and gave my testimony. This first time was at the church where I got baptized about one month earlier. Since this day I have continued and I have not been able to keep my mouth shut. During this short time I have seen many sides of christianity and for a short time I was lost myself. I became one of them who saw evil spirits and demons everywhere and in everyone and I thought I was right in everything. I also thought all other Christians who did not think exactly like me or the way they teach and believe in my church was going to hell and I said it.
The result of being that way was lack of fruits. The Bible tells that of the fruit we shall know the three and my fruits were bad fruits, people got offended and people got hurt because of what I said and what I wrote. Still I managed to keep myself in my pants when I visited different churches and gave my testimony. It was outside the church on different web forums I over dosed the evil spirits, demons and my own fanatic way to look at other Christians thinking different than me. Today I can not do anything else than laugh about it all. I was in love with Jesus, my Lord that I had met at my death bed. Everything went fast but I always knew I had a calling on my life, to share the good news with other people all over the world. What I was missing was the most important things of them all: LOVE!
"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." 1 Cor 13:1-2
Paul the Apostle is very clear with what we are if we are trying to walk without love. I became a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal and today I know how bad I sounded as GOD have showed me people being the same way. I can understand it if it is someone like me that just have received Christ and is a "baby Christian" but seeing people who have been saved for twenty something years go on like mad men, hurting people is upsetting my spirit. I am thankful for my Pastors and my church for telling me things when I was there. Did I listen? The answer is no and I left the church and was in the desert for nine months searching for manifestations and the kicks of the Holy Spirit. I wanted to shake and manifest like the people did during the revival in Lakeland, Florida but it did not happen. I asked GOD, why do I not get what those people have.
Meanwhile I was forced by other Christians to speak in other tongues and I did even try to fake it. It takes on the flesh to sit here writing this today but I have a point that I am coming to. Who did I lie for when I faked speaking in tongues when you can not fool God? I was lying to myself and it did hurt and I felt like piss! Why did I do this? I did it because I was told as many other Christians that I am not a real Christian and that I do not have the Holy Spirit if I do not speak in tongues. I went to these prayer meetings where everyone was speaking in tongues and all tried to be as loud as possible. What did I see? I did see other people faking the tongues and I saw people being hypocrites. This looked so bad and I thought; - Oh my God! I am becoming one of these! Please do something!
God answered my prayer and showed me laying on the floor shaking and HE was upset about what I did. Jesus walked by and I asked Him why He did not stop. Jesus said: - How can I use you for my Kingdom when you are laying on the floor acting like that? Immediately I understood that these things are NOT manifestations of the Holy Spirit, they are human reactions and most of the time it has to do with healing and deliverance. I knew that I had to repent and return to my old church where my heart was. This was another hard thing in the flesh to ask my Pastor to forgive me and if I could come back. If I think how I had been acting towards him I am surprised that he took me back and with love in his voice he said: welcome back.
Doing this meant that I had to die from myself and let all these things go and ask for forgiveness. What happened? I started to see clear and realized that I do not need to act like I am ill to present Jesus to an unsaved world, I can just be the one GOD created me to be. I received the gift of speaking in tongues but in a way that I later found in the Bible. I pray in tongues to build up myself and it happens when I am in my "prayer chamber" that can be at home or in my car. I do not speak or pray in tongues when I am around other people. Why? I do not know and I do not care. It is all up to the Holy Spirit.
Years has gone since this and I am thankful for every step together with Jesus. This was a lesson for me and I do understand all those who are running away from the church when they are getting forced to speak in tongues. I know how they feel, they feel like I did. I felt that I am not good enough for God and that feeling is nothing I recommend to any other than those who are forcing people and acting in this satanic way proclaiming that you can not have the Holy Spirit if you do not speak in tongues. How can I say that? I just did it. If it is not of God, where does it come from? In this case I believe it comes from the devil! You CAN be a spirit filled Christian without speaking in tongues, most likely you have another gift and if you are unsure about it, ask God and HE will let you know. Do not let any Christians or stupid too charismatic leaders fool you. Keep your eyes on Jesus! Speaking in tongues IS a sign that you have the Holy Spirit but if you do not speak in tongues it is NOT a sign that you do not have the Holy Spirit. Look at the fruit, and walk in love, those are the true signs and who are we to judge, only God can judge!
Hunger in Eastern Finland
Last week I visited the eastern part of the country. First I did not know what I had to do there but today I know. God showed me things that I have been writing about and God did things during the meetings we had. What ministered to me was the hunger and thirst for more of Jesus in that area of the country. They came together and they were from different churches. Some where lutherans (not going to hell), some were pentecostals (not going to hell), some where from the orthodox church (not going to hell) and some came from the evangelistic free church (not going to hell). Together they loved one another and prayed together, all with their eyes on Jesus, longing for more of Him in their lives, in their city and in our country. I had an awesome time and I am already looking forward to return there later this year, God willing.
The summer should be here
As I look out the window right now I can not say the summer is here, so I say the summer should be here. Looks like the summer is late but I know it will come. If it will be a hot and nice summer or a rainy and windy summer I can not tell, I can only trust God that HE is with us on this summers mission trips. Next week I am heading south to Naantali for one meeting. The following Sunday I will be in Solf, outside Vasa and after that we are entering the studio again to record another record. This time a worship record together with Teresa Sutherland from Texas and brother Martin Kantola. After that it is time for our Ambassadors Biker Rally at Orisberg and one night at Frank Mangs Center in Närpes before we head to Sweden for three weeks.
For the fourth year in a row we are attending the Church on Wheels meet at Bjärka-Säby. We will visit the finnish pentecostal church in Västerås, Sweden and we will be on the Power Meet in Västerås preaching the gospel. I am also honored with an invitation to MC- Park Only in Skara, Sweden July 14th and some dates in Sweden are still open. More details of coming meetings are in the calendar.
This is what I had on my mind and on my heart tonight. I just want to encourage all of you to be who you are in Christ. There are enough copies of copies in our churches and we need more originals. YOU are an original and take that with you. I thought I never was going to write things like this in public but since it is five year since opened my mouth and allowed Jesus to guide me step by step, nothing can stop me now.
Love you all!
Frank Mangs Center are standing behind me as an organization and together we have decided that it is not wise to stand outside the open doors just because there are not enough money to walk through those doors.
Frank Mangs Center have opened up a new account for this ministry and we are now looking for people who would like to partner with us monthly. At least I would ask you all to pray for our work and for the harvest of 2012. You can read more about being a partner in finnish or swedish by clicking HERE.